Second Chance

I am in my seventh month of pregnancy, I am carrying twin boys.
My Doctor told me this morning than 50% of twins are born before the 38th week.
When I found out I was pregnant, I was devestated. The babies father had just left me. I shall refer to him as J.. So what can I tell you about J? I love him to pieces. I loved him to pieces. He made me the happiest I had ever been, happier than I thought it was possible to be. And then he took it all away. We only had a brief romance, but we had been friends for about a year before. We'd meet once a month and go for a drink and a chat. We had lots of similiar interests. We both broke up with our respective partners, and we ended up dating. I loved him from the moment I met him. I ended my relationship to be with him, although he left his girlfriend because he was a whore.
It was brief, but I don't regret a moment of it. I am so glad to have had him for just the smallest time. As I always say 'It's better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all'.
So whilst I tried to piece myself together after the break up, I found out I was pregnant. I was shocked. I was scared. I already have a five year old daughter from another relationship. I wasn't sure I could handle three children on my own. I knew I couldn't, who was I kidding?
I won't tell you how I ended up in Barbados, but I made a home for myself and my daughter. I got a job, I made friends. And then I met Dale. I met him whilst he was on holiday, and we clicked. Despite me being pregnant, we hit it off. I felt like I could confide in Dale in a way I had never been able to with J.
As much as I loved J, he was far from perfect. Dale spent the rest of his holiday with me and my daughter, and by the time it was time for him to leave, I knew more than anything that I wanted him to stay. He was a Secondary School teach in England, and the Barbados school he chose was only too glad to have him. He moved here full time.
He lives with me and helps me look after my daughter. He also looks after me. We have a relationship. We love each other. He knows that I am scarred. That I'm damaged goods. But he sees through that.
It was hard to fall in love after being hurt so badly before, but Dale has been nothing if not patient. He is absolutely gorgeous, and I have been told by many of my friends that he is 'too good looking', which makes me laugh. I know I am lucky. I have a wonderful, clever, kind, considerate, gorgeous man who is headoverheels in love with me, despite all my baggage.
I have less stress knowing that Dale is going to be there for me when these twins make their appearence. I can't believe how lucky I am to have him. I know things won't be easy for us, not like when your teenagers and love is pretty simple.
But I feel like I have been given a second chance. I'm not going to waste it, or take it for granted. I'm going to make the most of it. Dale, Eedie and I are a family. Not conventional, but we never will be. The fact that Dale is willing to take on three kids that aren't his, shows a strength of character than many can only dream of.
For those wondering, J knows that I am expecting his children, but he hasn't even acknowledged me since I told him. If I dwell on that, it eats me up, how could I have loved someone so cruel? I will never be able to explain the hold J had over me, but I can't hate him even if I try. But hey, Dale does enough hating on him for the both of us!
I'm not sure how often I will be able to blog.. Obviously it won't be as often once the twins are born. But I just felt like I needed a place to vent my thoughts, feelings and emotions. A place to get things off my chest.
I can't promise you an exciting read, all this is going to be about is my life.