The Name Game

I am sat on the sofa like a beached whale! Everything is so much effort these days! I am struggling to do things like the shopping, and taking my daughter to pre-school. I can't drive, I can't bend down! Thank goodness for Dale, because I honestly don't know what I'd do if I didn't have him here to look after me.
I am getting pretty nervous now. I went the whole nine months with my five year old Eedie, but I can't imagine getting through another month and a half when I am already so, so big! The thought scares me that the babies could come at any time. I am one for preperation. I always think things through before I do them. I don't like the unexpected.
One thing that has been keeping me sane is thinking of names. I am pretty set on Jenson. I love the name, and so does Eedie. Eedie is totally devoted to Jenson Button, at the tender age of five! She is an avid F1 fan, and it is the cutest thing to see. On race day she wears a hat, and gets so excited. Most of the time she is able to watch the races, but if they are on at stupid o'clock I record them so that she can watch them the next day. She can sit there for two hours watching the race, and then ask to watch it again. I do find it a bit boring sometimes, but she is crazy for it.
So Jenson is a pretty certain. But after that I am just stuck. Niko? Chace? I am just straight up out of ideas. I keep thinking "Oh I like that one" and then the next day I am not so sure. I had an idea a bit earlier today, but it just slipped straight out of my mind!
I don't want anything silly, but I don't want a common name.
Owen? Alfie? Ethan? Aidan? Taylor? (Gerrard) - that's Dale's suggestion! But with his last name being Howard, Gerrard Howard doesn't fit right - does it? Dale's other suggestions are; Xavier and Torres. Hmm, Liverpool fan much? Although Xavier just reminds me of that blonde kid from Home & Away.
So thinking up another name is taking up a lot of my time. Please feel free to give any suggestions, they are all more than welcome! I'd appreciate all the help and ideas, actually! Because it is driving me crazy having one figured out and not another.
The weather has been pretty stormy at the moment. It is different to the bad weather in England because it is more consistant. At first Eedie was quite frightened of the thunder, but now she seems almost immune to it. Dale says it's funny how Barbados is paradise in the summer, but in winter it's worse than England! He misses England quite a lot. I have to admit when it is just rain, rain, rain, rain it is quite tempting. But from the moment I found out I was pregnant, I vowed I would not set foot on a plane. And even now, I feel so much more at home here than I ever did in England, despite the storms!
Eedie is so content, she is thriving here. Dale loves teaching at the school here, and gets such a buzz from it. The kids here are so much more willing here, than the gobby, rude ones he taught back in England.
We all love it here, but the weather has bought everyone down a little bit I think. Although it is rainy, it is still hot though - so it's different from England in that respect. I don't mind it so much, because there is nothing worse than being cold and wet.
"Hurricane" season is from June 1st to October 31st, but Barbados is spared the worst of that. When it rains here, it is often in the form of a tropical storm, which is over very quickly, leaving the sun shining once more. And the water dries up pretty quickly, so it always seems "fresh".
I much prefer the rain here to England. I think Dale does too, but he won't admit it. He wears shorts in a storm, and you'd never do that in England would you?
Sorry to keep going on about the weather. It's so hard to explain though.
It really is a beautiful country. I think once we have all experienced this first "winter" together, it won't feel so bad. It's just because it's new to all of us. And Dale is still getting used to being away from his family and friends. It's not an easy time for any of us, but we are all happy.
I best be off now, I feel like I have been typing forever!!!

Second Chance

I am in my seventh month of pregnancy, I am carrying twin boys.
My Doctor told me this morning than 50% of twins are born before the 38th week.
When I found out I was pregnant, I was devestated. The babies father had just left me. I shall refer to him as J.. So what can I tell you about J? I love him to pieces. I loved him to pieces. He made me the happiest I had ever been, happier than I thought it was possible to be. And then he took it all away. We only had a brief romance, but we had been friends for about a year before. We'd meet once a month and go for a drink and a chat. We had lots of similiar interests. We both broke up with our respective partners, and we ended up dating. I loved him from the moment I met him. I ended my relationship to be with him, although he left his girlfriend because he was a whore.
It was brief, but I don't regret a moment of it. I am so glad to have had him for just the smallest time. As I always say 'It's better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all'.
So whilst I tried to piece myself together after the break up, I found out I was pregnant. I was shocked. I was scared. I already have a five year old daughter from another relationship. I wasn't sure I could handle three children on my own. I knew I couldn't, who was I kidding?
I won't tell you how I ended up in Barbados, but I made a home for myself and my daughter. I got a job, I made friends. And then I met Dale. I met him whilst he was on holiday, and we clicked. Despite me being pregnant, we hit it off. I felt like I could confide in Dale in a way I had never been able to with J.
As much as I loved J, he was far from perfect. Dale spent the rest of his holiday with me and my daughter, and by the time it was time for him to leave, I knew more than anything that I wanted him to stay. He was a Secondary School teach in England, and the Barbados school he chose was only too glad to have him. He moved here full time.
He lives with me and helps me look after my daughter. He also looks after me. We have a relationship. We love each other. He knows that I am scarred. That I'm damaged goods. But he sees through that.
It was hard to fall in love after being hurt so badly before, but Dale has been nothing if not patient. He is absolutely gorgeous, and I have been told by many of my friends that he is 'too good looking', which makes me laugh. I know I am lucky. I have a wonderful, clever, kind, considerate, gorgeous man who is headoverheels in love with me, despite all my baggage.
I have less stress knowing that Dale is going to be there for me when these twins make their appearence. I can't believe how lucky I am to have him. I know things won't be easy for us, not like when your teenagers and love is pretty simple.
But I feel like I have been given a second chance. I'm not going to waste it, or take it for granted. I'm going to make the most of it. Dale, Eedie and I are a family. Not conventional, but we never will be. The fact that Dale is willing to take on three kids that aren't his, shows a strength of character than many can only dream of.
For those wondering, J knows that I am expecting his children, but he hasn't even acknowledged me since I told him. If I dwell on that, it eats me up, how could I have loved someone so cruel? I will never be able to explain the hold J had over me, but I can't hate him even if I try. But hey, Dale does enough hating on him for the both of us!
I'm not sure how often I will be able to blog.. Obviously it won't be as often once the twins are born. But I just felt like I needed a place to vent my thoughts, feelings and emotions. A place to get things off my chest.
I can't promise you an exciting read, all this is going to be about is my life.